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Bancuri Chuppachupps :)

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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Mon Jan 09, 2017 8:05 pm

Merge Bula pe strada si gaseste un portofel cu 1500$ si un buletin cu numele ion.
Merge akasa si suna la un post de radio:
-Alo buna ziua!Am gasit pe strada un portofel cu 1500$ si un buletin cu numele Ion.
Aha.Foarte bine.si acum vrei sa dam anunt sa gasim pagubasul,nu?
-nu vreau sa ii fac o dedicatie muzikala!Smile)))
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Mon Jan 09, 2017 8:05 pm

La scoala, la ora de fizica, ii intreaba profesoara pe
elevi de unde vine curentul. Toata lumea ramine
linistita, numai Bula cu mina pe sus. Profesoara il
intreaba:
- Spune, Bula, stii de unde vine curentul?
- Da, din cocina.
- Cum asa, Bula, din cocina?
- Pai, de fiecare data cind ni se ia curentul, tata
spune: "Iar ne-au oprit porcii aia curentul!"
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Mon Jan 09, 2017 8:06 pm

Merge Bula la oficiul postal cu o scrisoare pentru strainatate.
"Par avion?", intreaba functionara.
Bula se uita la ea: "Nu pareti".
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Mon Jan 09, 2017 8:06 pm

Bula: Dom' profesor, care-i diferenta dintre barbat si femeie ?
Profesorul: Pai Bula, cit poarta taica-tu la pantof ?
Bula: 43.
Profesorul: Si maica-ta ?
Bula: 36, dom' profesor.
Profesorul: Pai vezi, Bula, asta-i diferenta, intre picioare.
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Mon Jan 09, 2017 8:06 pm

Bula catre tatal lui:
- Tata, tata, impotenta vine asa, deodata?
- Nu, dragul tatei, prima data te faci de cateva ori de rusine
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Mon Jan 09, 2017 8:06 pm

- Bula, ce ati facut azi la scoala?
- Am avut ora de chimie si am facut o bomba.
- Si miine ce o sa faceti?
- Unde?
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Mon Jan 09, 2017 8:07 pm

- Bula, ce ati facut azi la scoala?
- Am avut ora de chimie si am facut o bomba.
- Si miine ce o sa faceti?
- Unde?
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Mon Jan 09, 2017 8:08 pm

- Numim hot pe cel care ia proprietatea altuia - explica
profesorul.
- Bula, tu nu esti atent!
- Ba da, domnule profesor.
- Atunci spune-mi, ce as fi eu daca ti-as scoate din buzunar
10.000 de lei?
- Vrajitor, domnule profesor.
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:27 pm

Un tip vine acasa si isi vede sotia alunecand pe balustrada.
- Ce faci ? De ce ai incalecat balustrada ?
- Iti incalzesc cina.
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:28 pm

Un baietel si o fetita fac baie. Fetita se uita la baiat si il intreaba:
- Pot sa o ating ?
- Nici gand ! Pe a ta ti-ai rupt-o deja...
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:28 pm

Diferente:
Fraza “Vino la mine sa ne uitam la un film!” determina fetele sa se epileze si baietii sa faca curat...
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:28 pm

Seful catre subordonat:
– Esti concediat !
– Concediat ? Credeam ca sclavii sunt vanduti.
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:28 pm

O cearta in familie. Sotia:
– Pleaca ! Dispari din casa asta !
Sotul se indreapta spre usa.
– Sper sa mori incet si in chinuri !
– Deci vrei sa raman ?
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:28 pm

Femeia e ca un inger, dar daca ii frangi aripile, zboara pe matura...
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:28 pm

O soacra este intrebata:
– Cum ii merge casnicia fiicei dvs.?
– Excelent! Daca n-ar fi si sotul, ar fi chiar fericita...
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:29 pm

Doamna stomatolog, pregatindu-si turbina, ii spune pacientului:
– Iti amintesti de mine? La scoala stateai in spatele meu si tot timpul ma trageai de codite…
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:29 pm

Intrebare la Radio Erevan:
- Ce este virginitatea ?
- Un retard sexual...
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:29 pm

- De ce nu are Mos Craciun copii ?
- El vine doar o data pe an si atunci intra doar pe un cos de fum.
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:29 pm

Discutie intre 2 prietene:
- Divortez !
- De ce ?
- Ma trateaza ca pe un caine.
- Cum asta ?
- Vrea sa-i fiu fidela...
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:30 pm

Sotia unui scotian se ineaca. Dupa o luna este gasita si scotianul primeste o telegrama:
- Sotia gasita - acoperita cu scoici, moluste si stridii - stop - Ce sa facem ? - stop -.
- Vindeti scoicile si stridiile - stop - Aruncati din nou momeala - stop -.
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:30 pm

Cand un tanar proaspat insurat are o figura fericita, se stie de ce; cand un barbat insurat de 10 ani are o figura fericita, te intrebi de ce...
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:30 pm

– Care sunt efectele negative ale consumului de bere?
– Pe masura ce o consumi, are tendinta sa se termine...
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:30 pm

Sotia catre sot:
– Astazi am fost la doctor si mi-a spus ca am sanii ca la 20 de ani.
– Despre fundul de 50 de ani n-a spus nimic?
– Nu, de tine n-a intrebat...
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:30 pm

Badea Gheorghe prinde pestisorul de aur.
– Da-mi drumul, zice pestisorul, si iti voi indeplini trei dorinte…
Si asa s-a intors acasa badea Gheorghe cu trei vaci…
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PostSubject: Re: Bancuri Chuppachupps :) Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:31 pm

Doi batranei se giugiulesc in pat. La un moment dat, baba striga catre mos:
– Da-mi repede proteza, ca vreau sa te musc!
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Bancuri Chuppachupps :)

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